Powerful Lessons Learned From “Girl’s Trip”

Powerful Lessons Learned From "Girl's Trip" | Sedruola Maruska

My sisters, niece and I went to see “Girl’s Trip” and we laughed our asses off!

We expected a fun ride, but this was certainly more than we bargained for. Not only did we have a blast being together and enjoying the very adult themes, we learned a lot about women, friendships and life.

If you haven’t had the chance to see “Girl’s Trip”, please grab some girlfriends and make an evening of it! If you think it’s not for you, think again. I was in a theater filled with diverse people and we all took the journey together.

There’s nothing like being in a theater crowd that’s into everything happening on the screen.

Powerful Lessons Learned From "Girl's Trip" | Sedruola Maruska

Full Disclosure

Now, for the record, I want you to know, I didn’t go see this movie with all people of color. This audience was majority white. I’ve been to movies where if you dare laugh too loudly with a majority white crowd someone is ready to call an usher on you. This did not happen here.

As a matter of fact, I was pleasantly surprised to see that at the same times I laughed my ass off, other white asses were falling off too! I’m a woman married to a white man who squirms in his seat if I’m “too loud” during movies so this was truly refreshing.

But the women on the screen truly deserve the credit for keeping everyone engaged. Thing is, this wasn’t just a funny movie, it had heart. The heart made the difference and that’s what I want to explore.

There were powerful lessons throughout the movie. They didn’t just go out for laughs, they went out to celebrate their friendship and In that that celebration, we learned a lot.

Powerful Lessons About Women

  • We are strong – We get so many things thrown at us as women and yet we find a way to bounce up, back or sideways to confront and deal. Bad things happen, but we’re well equip to handle them and more.
  • We are beautiful – These four friends couldn’t be any more different in looks, shape & size but they represented us all. We are different. We look different, we wear different clothes, we wear different sizes, we like different things and that’s okay. We are all beautiful and we need to remember that.
  • We are smart – We can give good advice even when it’s hard to do. We can also take good advice even when it’s hard to swallow. We’re capable of making good decision and bad ones with our eyes open. Never underestimate the power you have and the thoughts that go through your brain. You may be depriving others of your sparkle.

Powerful lessons about Friendship

  • We need our friends – There is no world where women don’t need their sisters because there is no world in which we can do it all alone. We get married, have kids and move away, but we’ll always need our girls. They know us in a way that our loves and our babies can’t. We need that kind of support for a lifetime.
  • Loyalty is Key – We may not see our friends for years, but true friendships never truly die. Loyal and loving friends know that there’s a time to get together and a time to stay quiet. Both are fine.
  • The right friends make a difference – I’ve heard, more than I’d like, that the 5 people you spend the most time with determine who you are. Having those ride-or-die kind of friends who will support your efforts in all that you do is priceless. If no one else is there or believes, they’ll be there and that matters.

Powerful Lesson on Life

  • Be true to yourself – Don’t worry about what the world has to say. The world will always take from you. What you need is to do is deliver your authentic self to the world and see what that brings back. You set the expectations and you may change. That’s okay. Let the world come on a ride with you because what matters most is being true to yourself and what feels right to you.
  • Love is hard – Loving and allowing others to love you back is making yourself vulnerable. Vulnerability is scary. Thing is, not loving is a poor option. So whether you’re loving  yourself, your friends or a significant other you’re opening yourself up to hard stuff. Don’t fear, allow yourself to love and be loved.
  • We all deal with fear – No matter how we think another person has “made it” they have fears. We’re all dealing with our own special demons and what we need are friends to be compassionate. We need to remember we’re not alone and our fear is not our own.

Are you Authentic? Click to read the article and find out for sure.

Final Thoughts

For all the laughing that brought tears of sheer delight, so did the heart of this movie bring tears. We experienced every part of this girls trip. This year I’ve been working to connect with my girls from high school, college and beyond more than I have in the past.

Life takes it’s toll and sometimes we forget the sisterhood. We forget that we need our girls no matter what. I don’t want to forget that anymore. It takes work, but so does anything else that matters. I have my girls that I can call up at any time and know we’ll pick up right where we left off. It’s not a good idea to take that for granted. It’s one of life’s many amazing blessings.

Thank you Malcolm Lee for another beautiful movie with heart. Thank you Latifah, Jada, Tiffany & Regina for your awesome chemistry and depiction. Thank you to my sisters Debbie & Rose and my niece Katya for an amazing evening. And last, but not least, thank you to my girls across the world whom I love, truly cherish and need no matter what. You are loved, supported and appreciated.

Your Turn

Do you need to reach out to your girls? Who do you know is your ride-or-die? What solidified that for you? Talk to me. . . I’d love to hear your stories below. We’ve got those girls, let’s give them props!



12 Ways to Feel Sexy Instantly

12 Ways to Feel Sexy Instantly | Sedruola Maruska

The other day as I was getting dressed I started to feel sexy instantly. I began to feel more excited, confident and sexy as I completed my look and wondered why that was.

As I thought about it I realized there were a number of things I did when I wanted to feel sexy instantly. But was it just me? Couldn’t be, so I posed the question to a few friends and on my Facebook Page. Sure enough, many of the things I thought made me feel sexy instantly, also worked for others!

Hallelujah! We can feel sexy instantly with some of the easiest things in the world. . . so here’s my list!

12 Ways to Feel Sexy Instantly | Sedruola Maruska

1 – All Things Spa

Getting a pedicure, manicure, facial or massage can make you feel sexy instantly! Maybe it’s because you’re super relaxed, or maybe it’s because you’ve been pampered and that’s enough to make anyone feel super sexy! Do it yourself or get it done, either way, when you’re done, you’re sexy!

2 – Matching Underwear

When you put on a matching bra & panty set it not only makes you feel sexy instantly, it makes you feel powerful! The strongest colors are red and black (I think it’s because of the “naughty” factor) but whatever color you choose will work.

3 – Music

For me it’s Jazz or Soft Rock. For you it may be heavy dance beats or classical music. Whatever the music, cranking it up and allowing yourself to be wrapped up in the tunes will definitely make you feel sexy instantly.

4 – Candlelight

Dim the lights and light the candles. The “mood lighting” will definitely help you feel sexy instantly. Make is a scented candle for added vibes.

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5 – New Hair

There’s nothing like doing something new with or to your hair to help you feel sexy instantly! Color, cut, curl, straighten, no matter the change, if you fall in love with the style you’ll instantly feel and exude sexiness!

6 – Makeup

Specifically focusing on your lips and eyes. Wearing lashes or pluming up your own lashes with mascara will compel you to use your eyes in a different way. Why, because you’ll feel sexy instantly and want to project that.

Wearing red or a bold color lipstick will also entice you to use your lips or even move your mouth differently as you speak. You’ll also want to smile more, that that is a great way to project the sexiness you feel.

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7 – Heels

I know when I want to make any outfit feel sexy instantly all I have to do is is pair it with heels. There’s something about adding inches to your height that compels you to strut, which is a total projection of how sexy you feel.

8 – Glass of Wine

Quietly enjoying a nice glass of wine is an instant sexy booster. You can do it anywhere you’d like (I sometimes find myself working, on the floor in my closet with a glass of wine. Yes, it feels very sexy. Don’t drink? You can get the same feeling by mixing yourself a virgin drink in a wine glass. As my sister once said as she drank her juiced beet, kale and apple drink from a wine glass, “everything tastes better in a wine glass.”

9 – Dressing Up

Putting on an amazing outfit, doing your makeup just right and strapping on some heels will make you feel sexy instantly! Whether you have somewhere to go, or you’ve decided to make & have dinner at home with your bae, dressing up in “the works” will always make the evening worthwhile. Start with this cute black & white off shoulder top 🙂

10 – Food

Chocolate covered strawberries. Chocolate. Sushi. Fries. There are just certain foods you eat that make you feel sexy instantly. It’s not necessarily about the food itself, but about the emotions, company or ideas it evokes.

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11 – Flirting

When I want to feel sexy instantly or I’m already feeling sexy, flirting with my hubby always ups the feeling. Whether it’s your significant other, the waiter or the cute young valet parking your car, flirting will make you feel sexy instantly. There is magic in flirting since it makes both parties feel good, especially when nothing needs to come of it.

12 – Sunglasses

Need I say more?! When you’re ready to go and that last touch, sunglasses, goes on, you feel that instant sexy feeling! One look in the mirror lets you know, you’re right! Find your style, or the fad, throw them on and you’re ready to roll!

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Do Them All

For me, the most fun thing is combining a few of these to get maximum float! Wearing bold lipstick, getting totally glammed up and going out for drinks is the ultimate in sexy rush. It’s the reason people go out on dates. It’s the reason married couples need to make time for dating. Feeling sexy in the presence of your significant other is bliss.

I think it may be time to set a date with your man, woman or girlfriends and feel sexy instantly!

Do you have something you do that’s not on the list? We’d love to know what you do to feel sexy instantly! How do you tap into your inner Goddess? Share in the comments below, I’m all for sharing!

Being Smart is Sexy – Resist & Persist

Being Smart is Sexy, Resist & Persist | Sedruola Maruska

Being smart IS sexy.

In college I met all types of men & women. We were just embarking on this ride called life. There were classes to take, activities to join, places to go and people to love. Looking back I see how my years in college were vital to shaping the years to follow.

Relationships were always tricky. Navigating different personalities and philosophies could end up in a lifetime union or in disaster. But relationships were always part of college life and they were a distraction from school work and the great beyond.

I remember several times thinking to myself “I wish he didn’t talk.” Ladies, let’s be real, you know exactly what I’m talking about. He’s cute, ladies love him, and you’re wondering why he had to open his mouth and show you the hollow of his mind. . . .

Being Smart is Sexy, Resist & Persist | Sedruola Maruska

Don’t be hollow

Ladies, don’t be the “I wish she didn’t talk” girl. I’m not worried about the men, they say what they want, when they want. They don’t have the same censors we do. I’m worried about us. We spend the better part of our time diminishing ourselves and pretending to be small when we’re not. We’re surprised when a fellow sister does open her mouth to say what she feels or thinks. Sadly, we’re also so conditioned that we turn on her for being who she is without apology.

We dress our silence or smallness up as being humble, failing to realize that smart is sexy. Being able to speak full sentences strung together to mean something, is sexy! That’s why we wonder about those “hollow” guys. It’s because we don’t understand why we need to pretend we’re on their intellectual level, when clearly we’re not.

I’m not exempt. I’ve made myself small many times. I’ve kept my mouth shut for fear of sounding too smart, too dumb, saying the wrong thing, not having the facts and a host of other reasons. Thing is, men don’t censor themselves that way. That’s why when they go on about things that make no sense we feel uncomfortable. Our self-censorship puts us in situations where we’re not challenging our intellectual capacity.

We think we need to be small to fit into someone’s idea of who we “should” be. When what we should be doing is showing them who we “are”. We’re varied humans with thoughts, ideas, opinions and feelings. Learning to express them in a way that speaks to our truth without diminishing another is sexy. Smart is Sexy!

The result

Have you noticed how when we do put ourselves out there and find someone who can keep up, it turns us on! Can you imagine, that’s how he feels too? Contrary to popular belief, men (let’s not generalize, many men) find smart incredibly sexy in women. We don’t give them enough credit sometimes. They know that a smart woman will be a help to them along the way. They know that you being smart doesn’t diminish their intellect.

Smart is sexy! I don’t say that thinking it’s to find a man, I say that so you can feel your strength. There’s a new breed of people who are doing their best to make smart seem “stupid”, I’m not here for that. Resist the temptation to fit in with that culture. Persist in your pursuit of more knowledge. Smart whether it’s book, street, emotional or social is important to keep ideas flowing and innovation happening.

Feeling, looking and being sexy because of your smarts is just a lovely by-product. Step into yourself. Love yourself. Enjoy those things that push your intellectual growth and challenge your ideas. Be smart! Not just because smart is sexy, but because your survival depends on it.

Now, more than ever, women are at the forefront of major innovations and change. We need to keep pushing forward so we keep going in our becoming.

Becoming stronger.

Becoming bigger.

Becoming more respected.

Becoming more confident.

Becoming smarter.

We are always becoming when we are constantly learning and allowing that learning to be challenged.

Used to be women weren’t allowed into places where men were talking policy, strategy, or other such “smart” things that we would never understand. Now, we’re showing that we not only understand, but we have innovative ideas about how things can be done in all areas from our homes to our communities.

So be smart, stay smart and keep becoming smarter because this new idea that smart is “stupid” is stupid. Let’s not be afraid to share the ideas we have and to push through when we’re being cut off. Let’s do as men do and remove our censors so we can put the ideas forth that may make a difference. Smart is sexy. Yes, we’ll still have to prove ourselves over and over again, but luck for us it simply makes us better.