“If you want to live a life you’ve never lived, you have to do things you’ve never done.”
It was December 17, 2017. We’d landed a day earlier in a magical place and I was ready to get my vacation on!
Four days earlier I’d gotten the news that I had breast cancer. Three days earlier I’d gone in for a CT Scan, Bi-lateral MRI and a bone scan. Two days earlier I’d learned that all my scans were clear. On December 16 we got on a plane with great friends and landed in Turks & Caico. I was primed to forget the past few days and focus on loving life.
The “You Are A Badass” book is written by Jen Sincero who is, among a ton of other things, a success coach. It’s a New York Times Bestseller so I’m sure you’ve seen it displayed at your local bookstore. I bought the paperback version which was easy to pack and enjoy on vacation. You probably have an electronic reader so you can pick up an electronic copy here, however, I still love the feel of real books.
When I opened the book I noticed it was separated into five sections each with their own overall theme. Having sections makes is easy for you to choose where you’d like to start if you don’t want to read the full book. Personally, I’d encourage you to go through the whole thing the first time, then pick and choose your second, third or fourth time around.
Jen speaks in a very down to earth conversational tone throughout the book. I think it’s one of the things I enjoyed most. She shares a ton of content in a way that makes you feel she’s your wiser older sister who really wants you to succeed.
I’ve started and put down a number of books that seemed to be talking at me and not to me. This book, You Are a Badass, was not one of them. I flew through this book as if my life depended on it (which after a cancer diagnosis, I felt it did). It was almost like having her across from me at the kitchen table, with our wine glasses between us, hashing out why I need to embrace all that is me.
Just as the title implies, the message of the book is that You Are A Badass but until you embrace that fully, you’ll keep living a life designed for you not by you. She wants you to learn to love yourself fully. That way, when life happens, you’re ready to meet it head on and decide how you want events or situations to unfold.
The book is full of butt kicking advice because it’s what we, as readers, need. If we didn’t she wouldn’t have had to write this book. However, the butt kicking is done with compassion and understanding. That’s not always easy to do, but she does a beautiful job.
My second read-through is happening with highlighter in hand (the reason I love books) so I can now work on internalizing the information and change my life. Even those of us who love and are infinitely grateful for the lives we have can use some adjusting and tweaking every now and then.
Have your read the book? What prompted you to read it? What was your assessment of the content. Please leave a message in the comments. I’d love to hear your perspective, especially if it’s different than mine on what you thought about this book. Can’t wait to hear your thoughts.
My sisters, niece and I went to see “Girl’s Trip” and we laughed our asses off!
We expected a fun ride, but this was certainly more than we bargained for. Not only did we have a blast being together and enjoying the very adult themes, we learned a lot about women, friendships and life.
If you haven’t had the chance to see “Girl’s Trip”, please grab some girlfriends and make an evening of it! If you think it’s not for you, think again. I was in a theater filled with diverse people and we all took the journey together.
There’s nothing like being in a theater crowd that’s into everything happening on the screen.
Now, for the record, I want you to know, I didn’t go see this movie with all people of color. This audience was majority white. I’ve been to movies where if you dare laugh too loudly with a majority white crowd someone is ready to call an usher on you. This did not happen here.
As a matter of fact, I was pleasantly surprised to see that at the same times I laughed my ass off, other white asses were falling off too! I’m a woman married to a white man who squirms in his seat if I’m “too loud” during movies so this was truly refreshing.
But the women on the screen truly deserve the credit for keeping everyone engaged. Thing is, this wasn’t just a funny movie, it had heart. The heart made the difference and that’s what I want to explore.
There were powerful lessons throughout the movie. They didn’t just go out for laughs, they went out to celebrate their friendship and In that that celebration, we learned a lot.
Powerful Lessons About Women
We are strong – We get so many things thrown at us as women and yet we find a way to bounce up, back or sideways to confront and deal. Bad things happen, but we’re well equip to handle them and more.
We are beautiful – These four friends couldn’t be any more different in looks, shape & size but they represented us all. We are different. We look different, we wear different clothes, we wear different sizes, we like different things and that’s okay. We are all beautiful and we need to remember that.
We are smart – We can give good advice even when it’s hard to do. We can also take good advice even when it’s hard to swallow. We’re capable of making good decision and bad ones with our eyes open. Never underestimate the power you have and the thoughts that go through your brain. You may be depriving others of your sparkle.
Powerful lessons about Friendship
We need our friends – There is no world where women don’t need their sisters because there is no world in which we can do it all alone. We get married, have kids and move away, but we’ll always need our girls. They know us in a way that our loves and our babies can’t. We need that kind of support for a lifetime.
Loyalty is Key – We may not see our friends for years, but true friendships never truly die. Loyal and loving friends know that there’s a time to get together and a time to stay quiet. Both are fine.
The right friends make a difference – I’ve heard, more than I’d like, that the 5 people you spend the most time with determine who you are. Having those ride-or-die kind of friends who will support your efforts in all that you do is priceless. If no one else is there or believes, they’ll be there and that matters.
Powerful Lesson on Life
Be true to yourself – Don’t worry about what the world has to say. The world will always take from you. What you need is to do is deliver your authentic self to the world and see what that brings back. You set the expectations and you may change. That’s okay. Let the world come on a ride with you because what matters most is being true to yourself and what feels right to you.
Love is hard – Loving and allowing others to love you back is making yourself vulnerable. Vulnerability is scary. Thing is, not loving is a poor option. So whether you’re loving yourself, your friends or a significant other you’re opening yourself up to hard stuff. Don’t fear, allow yourself to love and be loved.
We all deal with fear – No matter how we think another person has “made it” they have fears. We’re all dealing with our own special demons and what we need are friends to be compassionate. We need to remember we’re not alone and our fear is not our own.
For all the laughing that brought tears of sheer delight, so did the heart of this movie bring tears. We experienced every part of this girls trip. This year I’ve been working to connect with my girls from high school, college and beyond more than I have in the past.
Life takes it’s toll and sometimes we forget the sisterhood. We forget that we need our girls no matter what. I don’t want to forget that anymore. It takes work, but so does anything else that matters. I have my girls that I can call up at any time and know we’ll pick up right where we left off. It’s not a good idea to take that for granted. It’s one of life’s many amazing blessings.
Thank you Malcolm Lee for another beautiful movie with heart. Thank you Latifah, Jada, Tiffany & Regina for your awesome chemistry and depiction. Thank you to my sisters Debbie & Rose and my niece Katya for an amazing evening. And last, but not least, thank you to my girls across the world whom I love, truly cherish and need no matter what. You are loved, supported and appreciated.
Do you need to reach out to your girls? Who do you know is your ride-or-die? What solidified that for you? Talk to me. . . I’d love to hear your stories below. We’ve got those girls, let’s give them props!