You cannot succeed if you cannot fail

Sedruola Maruska | Leisure Life Coach

“What would you do if you knew you could not fail?”

It’s an old question asked a lot because of where it allows our minds to go. So, I asked it in my Facebook group this week and it stirred conversation.

Fear of failure keeps us from doing what we want to do because we’re afraid of things like:

  • what will “they” think?
  • how will I survive?
  • it’s too risky
  • it’s too controversial
  • I need to go back to school
  • I need the right, better, more tools/equipment
  • I’m not sure I’m the right person
  • what if I look ridiculous
  • I don’t have enough time
  • they’re not ready

And on, and on, and on. . . .

Let’s remove the stress from your success

We’re afraid of failure, but failure is the learning curve. It’s what gives us the opportunity to build experience so we know when we’ve succeeded. There’s not one person we look at as “successful” that hasn’t failed many times in order to reach that success.

A new question

So, as I considered the question I thought up a new one:

“What would you do if you knew you’d fail often, but in the end succeed?”

What if, instead of allowing the fear of failure drive us, we opened ourselves up to fail so we could succeed beyond our imagination? What if we decided:

  • who cares what they think
  • I’ll be fine
  • the risk is worth the reward
  • controversy breeds innovation
  • I know everything I need to know
  • I’ll start right now with what I have
  • I’m the exact right person for this
  • who cares how I look
  • I’ll find the time or make time
  • they better get ready

You are a badass

Fear of success

What if in the end the questions aren’t truly about the fear of all things listed, but about the success itself?

Could it be that we’re okay with the failure, but it’s the thought of actually getting to our big success that scares us? Why? Because success brings change and change is scary. It’s unknown, it’s the “X” factor.

Seems like all our excuses and fears are only to keep from walking into the black hole of “how will this all turn out?” Well, it will turn out like it will turn out. If we always had the information beforehand, what fun would life be?

You cannot succeed if you cannot fail | Sedruola Maruska

It’s the unknown that makes the journey fun! You get up everyday not knowing exactly what’s going to happen that day. You may have things planned, but there’s always “something”. That doesn’t keep you from getting out of bed and still tackling your day does it?


“What would you do if you knew you’d fail often, but in the end succeed?”

Let’s embrace the “X” factor, move forward with a spirit of power and fail often on our way to success!


A woman walks into a boardroom…

A Woman Walks Into a Boardroom | Sedruola Maruska

“A man walks into a boardroom…”

Sounds like a bad joke right? Well, sadly it is. It’s about our perceptions of men in general. It’s about our perception of ourselves, as women, as we relate to men.

What did you envision in your mind’s eye about that man walking into the boardroom? Was he in a suit? What about well-groomed? What about race, was he white? That’s what I saw too. . .

“A woman walks into a boardroom…”

We know how this one ends. She’s not as strong as the man. As a matter of fact, you probably went to a very dark and dismal place with that opening.

What did this woman look like? What punchline were you envisioning? Was she strong? What about race, was she white? What I saw has evolved over the years. A little like the riddle about the doctor and the dying son. . .

A father and his son are in a car accident. The father dies at the scene and the son is rushed to the hospital. At the hospital the surgeon looks at the boy and says “I can’t operate on this boy, he is my son.” How can this be?

It’s a riddle because most people immediately think the doctor was the dead father, but how? Why? Our programming let’s us see men & women in specific roles. When challenged, there’s conflict.

A Woman Walks Into a Boardroom | Sedruola Maruska

Visions of Yourself

[wp_ad_camp_5]How do you see yourself? Do you see yourself walking confidently into that boardroom, or do you shudder at the thought? How you see yourself in your minds eye is key to how the world will see you.

Let’s take a minute and think about that woman who walked into the boardroom. Think about how you pictured her versus how you pictured the man. Then take a moment to really examine why you think you saw what you saw.

If the woman looked like you, why do you think that was? What if she didn’t look like you? What if she looked like the total opposite of what you consider yourself to be?

When I was young, in my fantasies I was always white. You may look at that and say “you wanted to be white?” No, I wanted the romance I saw portrayed in movies, on TV and in magazines. The people who had that romance where white. So that was what I saw in my mind’s eye.

Representation Matters

When I say representation matters I’m not only talking about race, but also gender & orientation. If you’re not seeing what you want to see in your mind’s eye as it relates to any part of your life, you need to ask yourself why and begin changing that.

[wp_ad_camp_4]How can you be a strong businesswoman if you can’t see yourself in that role? If when someone says “a woman walks into a boardroom. . . ” and you see something or someone “other” than how your perceive yourself, there’s work to be done.

Having a vision of yourself starts with being able to see images of who you want to be, around you. It also means looking beyond those images and putting yourself in the place you want to be.

You’re a badass business owner so it’s time for you to see yourself that way. It’s time to stop discounting your abilities and move in your power. When you hear the intro “A woman walks into a boardroom..” you should see yourself and all that makes you strong and unique, giving the most amazing presentation ever. . . or at least you should see that woman as strong.

Changing our Perceptions

As women we need to change our perception of ourselves. We need to start writing a new script that says “I have the ability to be someone’s true love and save them!” “Don’t save me, love and support me in my passions.” “I can do this!”

I want my daughter to see me doing this and know she can too!

Until we change our own perceptions, we’ll be stuck living the images and visions of others. It does my heart good to see that in recent years there have been movies where the woman doesn’t need saving by a man. My daughter is a strong girl, I want her to know she doesn’t need saving by a man, she needs to be loved, respected and supported in whatever she chooses to do. I want to be that representation for her so she’ll look for it in the books, movies & tv shows she’ll eventually watch.

What did you see when you read “a woman walks into a boardroom…” share below what your vision was and how you may want to keep it, or alter it.