You cannot succeed if you cannot fail

Sedruola Maruska | Leisure Life Coach

“What would you do if you knew you could not fail?”

It’s an old question asked a lot because of where it allows our minds to go. So, I asked it in my Facebook group this week and it stirred conversation.

Fear of failure keeps us from doing what we want to do because we’re afraid of things like:

  • what will “they” think?
  • how will I survive?
  • it’s too risky
  • it’s too controversial
  • I need to go back to school
  • I need the right, better, more tools/equipment
  • I’m not sure I’m the right person
  • what if I look ridiculous
  • I don’t have enough time
  • they’re not ready

And on, and on, and on. . . .

Let’s remove the stress from your success

We’re afraid of failure, but failure is the learning curve. It’s what gives us the opportunity to build experience so we know when we’ve succeeded. There’s not one person we look at as “successful” that hasn’t failed many times in order to reach that success.

A new question

So, as I considered the question I thought up a new one:

“What would you do if you knew you’d fail often, but in the end succeed?”

What if, instead of allowing the fear of failure drive us, we opened ourselves up to fail so we could succeed beyond our imagination? What if we decided:

  • who cares what they think
  • I’ll be fine
  • the risk is worth the reward
  • controversy breeds innovation
  • I know everything I need to know
  • I’ll start right now with what I have
  • I’m the exact right person for this
  • who cares how I look
  • I’ll find the time or make time
  • they better get ready

You are a badass

Fear of success

What if in the end the questions aren’t truly about the fear of all things listed, but about the success itself?

Could it be that we’re okay with the failure, but it’s the thought of actually getting to our big success that scares us? Why? Because success brings change and change is scary. It’s unknown, it’s the “X” factor.

Seems like all our excuses and fears are only to keep from walking into the black hole of “how will this all turn out?” Well, it will turn out like it will turn out. If we always had the information beforehand, what fun would life be?

You cannot succeed if you cannot fail | Sedruola Maruska

It’s the unknown that makes the journey fun! You get up everyday not knowing exactly what’s going to happen that day. You may have things planned, but there’s always “something”. That doesn’t keep you from getting out of bed and still tackling your day does it?


“What would you do if you knew you’d fail often, but in the end succeed?”

Let’s embrace the “X” factor, move forward with a spirit of power and fail often on our way to success!


Are you failing at life?

Sedruola Maruska | Leisure Life Coach

Remember when your teacher would pull you aside and say “you’re failing this class, you need to do better.” (okay, maybe that was me not you, but go with me here).

Wasn’t it the most sinking feeling? It always felt like judgement upon your head or even worst, you were a failure.

Now you’re an adult with adult responsibilities. You’re even responsible for a few little people and you constantly hear that voice “You’re failing. . . “

But are you really, though? I mean, you’re still here right? You’ve got a job, a family? You pay your bills, taxes and even manage to take a vacation every now and then, right?

Then why do you keep hearing that voice?

If you were failing you’d be . . . well, not alive anymore I think. Who’d want to hire a failure? Who’d want to join lives with a failure, let alone have kids? Who’d want to hang out with a failure. . . would you?

The illusion of failure

The fear of failure is what keeps you “controlled”. The fear that you might “do it wrong” so why try is what keeps you in want.

Here’s a secret. Failure is an illusion. You only see it if you choose to look at it.

6 Lessons learned during my year of me

Let’s say someone is trying to create the worlds first widget. No one knows, so no one’s around to tell them how it’s going. So, they work on it and miss their mark over and over again. Finally, on their two hundredth try their widget does exactly what they imagined it would. Success!!

Do you think they look at the one hundred and ninety nine other tries as failures? I’m thinking no. Why? Because no one was there to tell them they were failing. Because every time they tried, they learned something new. Because they didn’t look at failure as a viable option

Again: Because every time they tried they learned something new.

Failure is an illusion. It’s a story we tell ourselves because it’s a story that’s been told to us.

Try and learn

Instead of saying we tried and failed, what if we said we “tried and learned”? We’ve all heard about Thomas Edison‘s famous line “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” He did not see or look at failure, so he succeeded!

Why are we ready to allow the illusion of failure to derail our efforts? Maybe if we didn’t see anything as failing we’d be more successful in pursuing our dreams.

The next time you’re starting a new project or venture:

  • Do it on your own terms
  • Quiet your negative mind
  • Be bold
  • Remember you’re learning at every turn

Let’s go out and erase failure. Who needs it anyway?