You cannot succeed if you cannot fail

Sedruola Maruska | Leisure Life Coach

“What would you do if you knew you could not fail?”

It’s an old question asked a lot because of where it allows our minds to go. So, I asked it in my Facebook group this week and it stirred conversation.

Fear of failure keeps us from doing what we want to do because we’re afraid of things like:

  • what will “they” think?
  • how will I survive?
  • it’s too risky
  • it’s too controversial
  • I need to go back to school
  • I need the right, better, more tools/equipment
  • I’m not sure I’m the right person
  • what if I look ridiculous
  • I don’t have enough time
  • they’re not ready

And on, and on, and on. . . .

Let’s remove the stress from your success

We’re afraid of failure, but failure is the learning curve. It’s what gives us the opportunity to build experience so we know when we’ve succeeded. There’s not one person we look at as “successful” that hasn’t failed many times in order to reach that success.

A new question

So, as I considered the question I thought up a new one:

“What would you do if you knew you’d fail often, but in the end succeed?”

What if, instead of allowing the fear of failure drive us, we opened ourselves up to fail so we could succeed beyond our imagination? What if we decided:

  • who cares what they think
  • I’ll be fine
  • the risk is worth the reward
  • controversy breeds innovation
  • I know everything I need to know
  • I’ll start right now with what I have
  • I’m the exact right person for this
  • who cares how I look
  • I’ll find the time or make time
  • they better get ready

You are a badass

Fear of success

What if in the end the questions aren’t truly about the fear of all things listed, but about the success itself?

Could it be that we’re okay with the failure, but it’s the thought of actually getting to our big success that scares us? Why? Because success brings change and change is scary. It’s unknown, it’s the “X” factor.

Seems like all our excuses and fears are only to keep from walking into the black hole of “how will this all turn out?” Well, it will turn out like it will turn out. If we always had the information beforehand, what fun would life be?

You cannot succeed if you cannot fail | Sedruola Maruska

It’s the unknown that makes the journey fun! You get up everyday not knowing exactly what’s going to happen that day. You may have things planned, but there’s always “something”. That doesn’t keep you from getting out of bed and still tackling your day does it?


“What would you do if you knew you’d fail often, but in the end succeed?”

Let’s embrace the “X” factor, move forward with a spirit of power and fail often on our way to success!


You expire on…

Sedruola Maruska | Leisure Life Coach

Every time we go food shopping we look at the “you expire on” date for our own safety, right? We find those dates helpful because they let us know the potential harm date of the food item.

About a year before my Dad retired his colleague retired. This man had plans to travel and spend time with family. But, about a month (I believe) after retiring, he had a heart attack and died.

I don’t know much more about him, but I do wonder: Did he take time to enjoy the journey?; If he knew he’d expire so soon after retirement, would he have enjoyed the journey more?

What if you knew the exact date you would, well, “you expire on….” What would you do differently? Why?

We all have expiration dates

We take this journey called life lightly. We live every day as if we’ll be here forever. Putting things off until “tomorrow”. Failing to do things we want to do now. Hoping tomorrow will be better. . . etc.

But we all have a “you expire on….” date. So, if you knew that date, what would you do differently? Why? Not why would you do it differently, but why aren’t you doing it now?

Why aren’t you:

  • planning that trip to your dream locale?
  • getting that degree?
  • opening up that practice?

I’m not immune. At 50 I’m finally waking up to the fact that I haven’t done many of the things I want to do. I could blame it on life itself. You know, bills, kids, jobs, taxes etc. But at the end of the day, I only have myself to blame.

A Personal Eulogy to Live By

We know we’re going to expire, so why not maximize the days we have now? Find or create our dream careers. Travel. Rest. Be happy. Make a difference.

If we knew the “you expire on…” dates we had I think we’d all live differently. We’d value our time more. We’d spend our time more wisely. We might even have a greater impact in the world.

Maybe there’s something to living as if today were your last day. If you did, what would you let go? What would you focus on? What would you fight to have, give or do?

Just because you don’t know your expiration date doesn’t mean you don’t have one. You do. You expire on. . . what will you do before that date?


Mind Our Busyness, Starting Today

Mind Our Busyness Starting Today | Sedruola Maruska

“Hey, how are you?”

“Ugh, I’m so busy, I need a vacation!”

I know that exchange sounds familiar because I’ve heard it drop from my lips many times! (for the record, I need a lifelong vacation, but that’s another post)

“I’m so busy!” The idea, the uttering, the feeling is always there ready to be delivered at a moments notice. Why?

My morning read this month (I’m so excited to be reading again that I’ve got a morning book and an evening book. . . I digress) is Overwhelmed: How to Work, Love, and Play When No One Has the Time by Brigid Schulte.

Have you seen my review on “You Are A Badass” Yet?

I’m not done yet, but in the first few chapters of the book I’ve not only had “ah-ha” moments, I’m examining my life and realizing that my busyness is often for the benefit of others, not mine. Can you relate?

Thing is, being busy is the new “status” symbol. If you’re not crazy busy, you must not be that important, or worst, you must not be that successful. We’ve gotten to where we equate being busy with being successful. But most of the time our “busy” is simply movement not progress, and certainly not success.

Movement vs. Progress

In our new technology driven world, that was supposed to give us more free time, we’re overwhelmed with busy. We carry multiple phones and can’t stop looking at our screens because, FOMO (fear of missing out).

Mind Our Busyness Starting Today | Sedruola Maruska

We run ourselves crazy never stopping for a moment to think about whether our busy is just movement or if it’s progress.

[wp_ad_camp_4]As women we have tons of stuff in our lives that keep us moving. That’s not so say men don’t, but I’m not talking to men 😉 I’m talking to you, lady boss! We drive our kids around to activities and events. We cook, we clean, we respond to invitations and buy gifts. Then let’s not forget trips to the vet for the pet(s), the grocery shopping that needs to happen, and oh, wait, there’s also the vacation we need to plan and the bills we need to pay. Oh, but we also need to answer emails, create our next promotion, create a strategy for our marketing, gather information for taxes, and make sure we workout, eat healthy and spend time with the people we love. . . .

Just reading that makes me tired.

Now consider how many things we do that can go away without being missed. Or, how much time we could take to just do things we want to do if we sidelined our need for “busyness”.

Moving is not progress. Merriam Webster’s definitions are:

  • Movement: change of place or position or posture
  • Progress: a forward or onward movement

So, just because you’re moving or “busy” doesn’t mean you’re moving forward. You may be, but there’s no guarantee!

Mind Your Busyness

[wp_ad_camp_5]If you can’t see or feel where or how you’re spending your time, you can’t change it. So, let’s slow down so we can mind our busyness and progress. Let’s “see” what’s happening.

Below are two (actually one and a sub action) action steps we’re going to take for the next week (yes, I’ll be joining you). We’re going to find the “Busy” so we can reduce it.

Action Step(s)

  • Keep a time journal of your daily activities
  • Color code your time: Red = work, Blue = busy, Yellow = downtime

This only works if we’re brutally honest with ourselves, so let’s be honest as we go through our days. Right now we just want to be aware of our busy. Soon we’ll talk about ways to reduce the noise, clutter and busy so we can get to progress.

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