5 Ways to indulge your affluence

Sedruola Maruskaj Blog

Affluence, my dear, is not a bad word as we’ve been led to believe. As a matter of fact, it’s been so mis-represented that there’s now a condition called “affluenza”. Imagine that!

There’s even a full dictionary definition of “affluenza”:
‘…psychological malaise supposedly affecting wealthy young people, symptoms of which include a lack of motivation, feelings of guilt, and a sense of isolation’

The misunderstanding runs deep. But it doesn’t have to.

Affluence comes from the Latin verb affluere, “to flow abundantly”. Thus, someone or something blessed with affluence has received an incoming flood of riches.

Merriam-Webster.com

From what I can tell, the idea of affluence or being affluent makes some people, many people, uncomfortable.

Here’s my theory. There are tons of reasons we shy away from saying “I want to be rich”. We think it sounds bad because, how dare we want to be rich, right? Wrong! Being rich isn’t the problem, how you think of being rich, is.

5 ways to indulge affluence

The problem is when we think of riches as only having lots of money (not that that’s a real problem, just perceived). It makes us uncomfortable so we shy away from wanting that type of affluence and therefore don’t understand the full meaning of the word.

I’d like to invite you to indulge your affluence for just a moment. I’m not taking money off the table because we all want more, whether we’re willing to admit it or not. But there are other ways, along with money, to have, be and create affluence.

Health affluence

If you enjoy great health, please indulge in that! Don’t take it for granted. People are fighting everyday to be healthy, get healthy or just stay alive. Then here you come with all your health affluence as if nothing can get you sick. Who do you think you are? You’re healthy, that’s who and you can indulge and enjoy that, so please do.

Family affluence

Do you have family that you can count on? Blood relatives that you can’t wait to see and love to spend time with? Family that you know will be there for you no matter what? Great! Indulge in it. Some people don’t have that special bond with their families. Some people would do anything to enjoy the family connections you do. Count your blessings.

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Friend affluence

Now, not only do you have a great family, but you’ve got friends to die for. Literally! You have people who’d do anything for you, and for whom you’d do anything. They are family you’ve chosen and they’re amazing. If you don’t believe they’re to be indulged in, you’re missing the point of “…an incoming flood of riches.” For who has even one friend to count on is rich….

Monetary affluence

I know, you don’t want to talk about money. But, if you can’t talk about money how can you ever expect to enjoy the money you have. . . or, aspire to have more? Look, having money, or wanting more doesn’t make you a bad person. What makes you a bad person is, well, being a bad person. If you’ve got enough money to pay your bills, enjoy extras beyond paying your bills and even enough to give charitably, you’re affluent. . . .

Spiritual affluence

Didn’t think this was a thing did you? Well, it is. You’ve found it within yourself to be grounded, happy and calm in the face of difficult situations, you’re spiritually affluent. Having found a way to enjoy life with all it’s ups, downs and tribulations is not something we can all do. Enjoy your spiritual journey.

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The next time you start feeling resentful of someone because of their perceived affluence, take a look at your life. Someone may be looking at you and feeling that same resentment because of what you enjoy and take for granted.


You expire on…

Sedruola Maruska | Leisure Life Coach

Every time we go food shopping we look at the “you expire on” date for our own safety, right? We find those dates helpful because they let us know the potential harm date of the food item.

About a year before my Dad retired his colleague retired. This man had plans to travel and spend time with family. But, about a month (I believe) after retiring, he had a heart attack and died.

I don’t know much more about him, but I do wonder: Did he take time to enjoy the journey?; If he knew he’d expire so soon after retirement, would he have enjoyed the journey more?

What if you knew the exact date you would, well, “you expire on….” What would you do differently? Why?

We all have expiration dates

We take this journey called life lightly. We live every day as if we’ll be here forever. Putting things off until “tomorrow”. Failing to do things we want to do now. Hoping tomorrow will be better. . . etc.

But we all have a “you expire on….” date. So, if you knew that date, what would you do differently? Why? Not why would you do it differently, but why aren’t you doing it now?

Why aren’t you:

  • planning that trip to your dream locale?
  • getting that degree?
  • opening up that practice?

I’m not immune. At 50 I’m finally waking up to the fact that I haven’t done many of the things I want to do. I could blame it on life itself. You know, bills, kids, jobs, taxes etc. But at the end of the day, I only have myself to blame.

A Personal Eulogy to Live By

We know we’re going to expire, so why not maximize the days we have now? Find or create our dream careers. Travel. Rest. Be happy. Make a difference.

If we knew the “you expire on…” dates we had I think we’d all live differently. We’d value our time more. We’d spend our time more wisely. We might even have a greater impact in the world.

Maybe there’s something to living as if today were your last day. If you did, what would you let go? What would you focus on? What would you fight to have, give or do?

Just because you don’t know your expiration date doesn’t mean you don’t have one. You do. You expire on. . . what will you do before that date?


Where is True Love’s Kiss?

Where Is True Love's Kiss? | Sedruola Maruska

I, like you, am of the Disney generations.

Starting with “Snow White”, Disney started defining “true love” and “true love’s kiss” for us.

Disney wove certain ideas into our fabric that have shaped our perceptions of love and what it means.

Today is Valentine’s Day (a made up holiday, but nonetheless) so lots of people are focused on Love. So it’s the perfect time to talk about love and where to find true love’s kiss.

Where Is True Love's Kiss? | Sedruola Maruska

A Story

When I was nine and ten we lived in Salt Lake City, Utah. Why, you may ask? Because my dad received a scholarship from the University Of Utah. So we packed up our stuff in New York City, and moved to a foreign land.

My brother and I never had a hard time making friends, but I think certain experiences we had in Salt Lake City shaped certain ideas for us. Living in Salt Lake City was the first time I knew I was different.

One day I was out with a group of friends playing, when someone suggested we play “run, catch & kiss”. If you’ve never played, let me explain. Run, catch and kiss is like tag except you have to kiss the person you catch then they have to kiss the next person to make them it. . . .

Mommy Can I change my color

At nine it seemed like a good idea since we were somewhere between “yeah, I want to be kissed” and “YUCK”! Anyway, we started this game and something interesting happened.

I say interesting now, with the luxury of distance, but it was hurtful.

As we’re running around playing this game I noticed something that soon descended like a fog on each of my friends . . . no one was running, catching or kissing Sedie, me. So, one of my friends went over and had a “chat” with the boys letting them know someone had to kiss me.

[wp_ad_camp_4]In 1977 & 1978 Salt Lake City I was the only person of color in the group. As a matter of fact, my brother and I were the only black kids in our entire elementary school for a whole year. There were about 300-400 students in the school.

But, I digress. The game resumed with the “new rules” and a very brave soul stepped up, chased me, reluctantly kissed me on my cheek (others were getting kissed on the lips), and that was the end of the game.

Disney. . . Will true love’s kiss ever come for me?

Friends

The year we moved to Salt Lake City was the first, and probably only, time we received neighbor gifts.

A lovely lady that lived downstairs brought us a cake of welcome. At the time she had four children and the eldest two were mine and my brother’s age. They became our best friends.

We were such good friends that someone asked if the boy was my boyfriend. . . not knowing much about what that meant, I asked him, he said yes and that was the extent of our romantic relationship. We were friends, we loved each other, and that was that.

After those two years we moved back to New York and left our friends behind. We lost touch because time and distance but I never forgot them.

Years later, when the internet was a baby, I realized I could probably find my long lost “boyfriend”. So I began a search and sure enough, I found him. We chatted for a long time and through that conversation I found out he was living happily with his partner, a lovely man he’d met at a party.

Disney. . . where’s true love’s kiss for that?

Please join me on Instagram!!

The Messages

By now I was 29 and I knew there was true love’s kiss for me out there, but that was in spite of messaging.

[wp_ad_camp_5]What are the messages we get?

  • Girls need protection and saving
  • Boys need to save and protect girls
  • Girls can only be loved and saved by a boy
  • Boys can only save and protect girls
  • Boys don’t need protection
  • Only boys can give a “True Love’s Kiss”
  • Only white girls are worthy of being kissed

Definitions

What is love? Merriam-Webster defines love as: 1) Strong affection for another arising from kinship or personal ties; 2) Attraction based on sexual desire; 3) Affection based on admiration or common interest.

What is true? Again, Merriam-Webster defines true: 1) Being in accordance with actual state of affairs; 2) Confirmable to an essential reality; 3) Fully realized or fulfilled

With those definitions it’s probably safe to say that “True Love” is a fully realized strong affection for another. That means anyone can truly love anyone. . . whoa!

New Messaging

It’s exciting to see that new messaging is emerging. It’s been extremely slow, but as we continue to speak our truths and express ourselves, the messaging must change.

[wp_ad_camp_4]As for Disney:

In 2009, my little girl got the message that she’s capable of being a princess, strong, independent and kissable with “The Princess and The Frog“.

In 2013, little girls got the message that they could be strong, independent and powerful. They also got the message that true love doesn’t require a kiss in “Frozen”.

In 2014, little girls learned that true love will always save you and it comes from those who know and accept you at your best and worst in “Maleficent“.

And in 2016 “Moana” taught our daughters that the quest isn’t to find “one true love” but to fiercely fight for all those you love. . . truly.

As we focus on love today let’s remember this: romance isn’t love, it’s a product of a romantic relationship.

Love is love.

Where’s True Love’s Kiss?

So, as we spread our kisses, let’s make sure they’re true loves kiss of knowing & understanding.

Let’s remember we’re all kissable and worthy of true love.

Let’s remember, and teach our children, that true love’s kiss heals because it comes from a deeper place than has traditionally been portrayed in the media.

Here’s hoping that the characters in movies become such that ALL children can see themselves reflected (representation is so important) and know they are lovable and kissable because true love’s kiss is not reserved from anyone.

Where’s true love’s kiss? It’s in those around you who are always there loving you. It’s not only romantic love but familiar love and familial love . . Happy Valentine’s Day!