Where are your parents?

Sedruola Maruska | Leisure Life Coach

‘Why are you riding your bike alone, where are your parents?’

That was the question asked of my 8 year old as she rode her bike from the elementary school in our town to my parent’s house.

The ride is just about 2 miles of straight sidewalk riding in a small rural town.

When I was 10 going on 11 we moved back to New York City where I walked 4 blocks, by myself to the bus stop every day, to take the city bus for about 30 minutes to school.

Yet, here was my daughter, riding with barely a soul around, and someone stopped to put the fear of life in her.

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Why are we so afraid?

There are many theories about why someone would stop and question an 8 year old enjoying a beautiful day on her bike, but we’d digress. . . .

Are you that 8 year old? Or are you the person full of fear that stopped to question her?

We live in a world where fear grips every aspect of our lives. But why live in fear. What are we fearing?

Fear sells.

Fear controls.

Fear kills.

Why live in fear?

I know people who want to do something different in their lives. Go places, experience things, build businesses, but . . . fear.

When fear takes hold it’s crippling. You’d love to take more downtime, but you’re afraid your children will hate you for it. You want to go out with the girls, but your husband makes you feel guilty. You want to build a business, but what if you fail. Fear.

Old White Men in Wheelchairs Scare Me

What if, instead of fear we decided to embrace positive expectation? When we live with positive expectation funny things happen. What was scary, isn’t anymore. What seemed impossible, doesn’t anymore. Guild no longer has a hold and, well, you’re free to experience life on your terms.

My daughter thought it was funny that someone would stop and question her riding her bike to her grandparents house. So did I. But then I had to let her know not to answer stranger’s questions when she’s riding.

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“Just say ‘I know where I’m going, and I’m fine, thank you’ and keep riding” is what I instructed her to say.

I’m not interest in having anyone project their fears on my children. I don’t project mine. There’s plenty of time for them to live in a “fear-filled” world.

For now, they live in a world where they are safe, happy children who can ride their bikes without the thought of “where are your parents?” looming over them.

As for my fears, I’m working on making sure they don’t keep me from doing things I want to do, seeing things I want to see and experiencing things I’d love to experience. I’m practicing Positive Expectation and living like that 8 year old girl. . . what about you?

Ladies, it’s time to play!

Sedruola Maruska | Leisure Life Coach

When was the last time you took time to play?

I’m a mom of two, a wife, a business builder with aging parents and cancer. I know how hectic and overwhelming life can get. I also know that taking time to play is mandatory.

Did you know that play actually makes you more intelligent? It does! According to this interview with Dr. Martin Korte play promotes brain development by creating new synapses. According to my daughter it “makes more wrinkles in your brain.”

Basically, when we stop playing, our brains don’t work as well or as hard. That means, we find tasks more challenging, and frustrating. Could it lead to burnout? I’d say yes, but I’m no scientist.

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People who keep playing throughout their life will continue to feel the benefit, because play always means thinking things over, learning something new, concentrating on something.

Dr. Martin Korte

Why you should play

In the last eight months I’ve thought about and done more play than I have in many years. Why? Because keeping a positive state of mind, being able to enjoy life and self-care depend on it.

Building a business that asks women to slow down, take leisure time so they can be more productive means I too need to do the same. Believe me, I have. It’s the reason I decided to make leisure (play) my platform.

We all live in a constant state of stress which can overproduce the hormone Cortisol. Which can lead to a weakened immune system, or high blood pressure. I’m not trying to scare you, but these things are serious.

Most of the time we’re stressed about things that could easily be let go. But we’re so focused on looking or acting a certain way we make ourselves sick. . . literally.

So, it’s time to play.

Epic water balloon and water gun fight, white water rafting, parasailing are all new items that have been added to my bucket list. Along with those are games with my family, more parties and quality time with friends.

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Let’s create a synapse revolution! Let’s lower our cortisol levels to normal, boost our dopamine, build our immunity and lower our blood pressure.

In the end, it’s the fun we’ve had along the way to making an impact that we’ll truly remember and cherish.

It’s time to play!


What brings you joy?

Sedruola Maruska | Leisure Life Coach

In this busy life we lead have you ever just stopped to think about what brings you joy?

It seems like such a basic question and yet I can’t say I’ve consciously thought about it until now.

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It always seems so elusive. Like something you catch, like a cold, or some rash, but not something you actually think about, right?

But, let’s think about if for a minute. What brings you joy? Is it food? Music? Family? Friends? Work? The list could be endless.

What are the things that you can focus on and say they bring you joy so you can pursue more of that?

Maybe what you’ll find is what you thought brought you joy, didn’t. And what you’ve ignored is really more of what you want.

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