Are You In The Ready Position?

Are You In The Ready Position? | Sedruola Maruska

While driving down the highway I slowed slightly to see if the car at the on-ramp actually wanted to get on the highway. . . they’re not ready. . . I drove past.

As I got to the top of the hill, I slowed my car because the upcoming intersection is a tough one to turn left from. . . I flashed my lights, they sat there, I flashed again, they sat there. . . They’re not ready. . .I drove down the hill will the endless row of cars following behind me.

Soul-Led Social Justice, Equity & Anti-racism Assets

It’s a phrase my high school volleyball coach used to say to us us over and over again. It’s a phrase I hear ringing in my head whenever I feel something slightly amiss, “Get in the ready position!”

At our volleyball meets, as we stood behind the net, waiting for the serve, we’d lean forward and put our hands on our knees. Anyone looking on would think “They’re ready!” But we weren’t, we were allowing fear and doubt to keep us un-ready.

“Get in the ready position!” he’d yell from the sidelines and instantly our hands would drop from our knees, down to our sides and then we knew, we were ready. We were no longer relaxed with our hands on our knees.

You see, when you’re leaning forward with hands on your knees, you’re in position to fall forward, flat on your face, not to attack the ball when it comes. It’s inertia. It’s simple.

The ready position is legs apart, leaned forward and arms at the ready by your side.
Anytime we took the right stance, we’d accomplished more because we were ready.

Are You In The Ready Position? | Sedruola Maruska

Ready for Life

It’s the same in life. Placing ourselves in the ready position gives us more leverage than relaxing, looking like we’re ready, but having our hands on our knees.

Ready doesn’t mean perfect, it means open. That ball is coming any second now, what are you going to do with it? Are you going to fall forward and miss, or are you going to put your hands where they need to be so when it comes you’re ready to hit hard?

Many of us are sitting in the on-ramp of life waiting for an opening that will give us a lot of time to get revved up and moving. That can take a long time.

Your Policies Suck, That’s Why We Have a Problem

Others of us put our cars in the ready position and watch for the slightest opening to go for it!

Some of us wait for both sides of the road to be completely clear before we creep in to make that left turn. Others are pulled up as far as possible, watching faces and headlights to see when our opening arrives.

Work, prepare, then get in the ready position. Your opportunity may show up as fast as that served ball. You need to be hands down and ready when it comes.


She Crawled Into My Bathroom Stall…

She Crawled Into My Bathroom Stall | Sedruola Maruska

We were living in Miami at the time. Which means I was around eight years old.

I raised my hand.

“May I go to the bathroom?”

“Yes, Sedie, go ahead.”

It was a typical day. We were learning. Things were going fine, until I went to the bathroom.

I heard someone come in.

Then, she crawled under the partition, into my stall.

Her name was Sara. She was in my class. We were friends. It’s foggy, I was eight. We only lived in Miami for six months. I didn’t know her well, but she was my friend.

And here was my friend, Sara, standing in front of me, in my bathroom stall, pulling down her pants and showing me her vagina.

“What are you doing?!”

“Show me yours.”

“NO!”

“Come on?!”

“NO!”

I quickly got up, pulled my clothes together and tried to leave the stall.

She tried to kiss me.

“Stop!”

My eight year old self was confused. What happened? Why did she come into my stall? Why was she showing me her vagina? Why did she want to see mine?

Why did I feel scared? Why did I feel ashamed?

Get a Fresh Start!

I’ve never told that story before. As a matter of fact, I haven’t thought about that incident in a long time

It came to mind because the other day I was talking to my mom about my son. We were sharing about how open he still seems to be at thirteen.

Then I thought about Sara. About how I never told anyone what happened in that bathroom. How, I felt so ashamed and nervous afterwards.

Looking back, I wonder if Sara ever said anything to anyone either. She and I never talked about it. I didn’t tell on her. I didn’t tell anyone, ever. We moved.

As a mom I’d like to think I can protect my kids from hurt. I want to think that they’ll tell me what’s going on with them, by making sure I give them space to be fully open and honest.

But they’re not going to tell us everything. They’re not always going to say when they feel confused or frustrated. Especially if they feel ashamed or nervous.

They’re going to move on and pretend everything’s fine, or they’ll forget.

What happened with Sara? Did she keep crawling under partitions into stalls? Did she grow into herself and acknowledge that she was gay, or at least curious? Or, did she bury herself and her curiosity deep inside because of confusion?

I’ll never know.

Something I do know, our children will never tell us everything. Because when I think about it, I realize that I didn’t.

We didn’t, we don’t tell everything ourselves.

She Crawled Into My Bathroom Stall | Sedruola Maruska

I could have gone home and told my mom about this little girl that came into my bathroom stall. I didn’t. Which is why I’m not naïve enough to think my kids will tell me.

No matter how safe they feel in talking to me, and we work hard to make our home a safe space, they won’t. What I hope is they’ll learn to process and cope.

Until we’re able to process the reasons we keep ourselves buried, we’re destined to live in darkness. We can’t be upset at our children for not sharing everything with us, when we don’t share everything with ourselves.

Homeschooling my daughter the other day, we worked on a reading comprehension activity. I looked at her work and noticed a couple of wrong answers so I sent her back to review. She reviewed then brought it back. I glanced and started to tell her that what she did was wrong as she started to get emotional.

When I looked closer, I was wrong. I didn’t take the time to look closely, thinking I already knew what I was doing, and I was correcting what she’d done, when it was already correct.

I looked at her teary eyes and said “I’m sorry, I was wrong.”

But I didn’t stop there. I want to empower her to speak up so I said “it’s okay to tell me if I’m wrong. I will be wrong sometimes. Okay? No matter who it is, they can be wrong. If you know you’re right, speak up.”

She nodded, smiled and we moved on. What I’m hoping she’ll learn is, even if she’s not willing to tell me everything, she will speak up for herself and process outwardly if necessary.

Click Here if you’re ready to be your best?

As we mature the extent we allow ourselves to learn and grow is the extent we’ll be able to allow others around us to learn and grow.

We’re not called to live anyone else’s life, even our children’s. What we’re called to do is be and project the best versions of ourselves. That’s how we empower ourselves, our children and our loved ones to be the very best of themselves.

Then, when someone does crawl into their bathroom stall, they’re equipped to handle, process and move beyond that situation.

Now, Where Does Change Happen?

Sedruola Maruska | Personal Development Coach

“What day is it?” asked Pooh.
“It’s today,” squeaked Piglet.
“My favorite day,” said Pooh.”

When was the last time you were fully present in the NOW?

I used to hear the idea shared that ‘there’s only now’ but never fully understood it until a few years ago when I read “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle.

What is now? It’s this very moment. It’s the time when all things are created because they all begin in the mind. As a personal development coach I enjoy talking about ‘now’ because it’s the fertile ground where the future grows. “NOW” is where personal development happens.

“Now” is ideal attention, focus. It’s being in “the zone” where all that exists, all that matters is the present moment, not the past or future. It’s paying full attention to what you’re doing in the moment you’re doing it.

For example, if you’re eating, eat. If you’re reading, read. It’s the moment of choice for every action or thought. Personal development is a present activity. It’s deciding in each moment and affirming each decision with action.

Become a Patron

If you’re eating and thinking about bills, or what’s on television, then you’re not in a state of now. If you’re reading and not concentrating on the act of reading, then you’re not in the present. Whatever you happen to be doing, if you’re thinking about something else, then you’re not attentive and not in a state of now.

Have you ever been reading but couldn’t remember what you read? Or maybe you kept reading the same page over and over again because you couldn’t seem to grasp what was being said? That’s what not being in the present feels like.

Now, Where Does Change Happen | Sedruola Maruska

When you’re not attentive, not here, your present peace of mind may be distracted by an upcoming event, or something that’s already happened. When you’re working on personal development one of the keys is to always bring your focus back to ‘now’. Always asking “what can I do now to achieve what I want?”

Discover Your Brilliance

If I ask you how you feel, I’m not asking how you felt yesterday or how you think you’ll feel tomorrow. I’m asking how you feel, in this moment. Same as if I ask you what you want. I’m not asking about what you wanted in the past, or even what you want for the future. I’m asking for this moment because knowing and embracing what you want today gives you clarity for creating the future.

Now is all there is. Tomorrow is always beyond your grasp and yesterday is gone forever. It’s the only reality.

A few days ago I woke up with a feeling of complete peace. The day and time were ‘Now’ and being able to enjoy that presence felt great. Being focused on what was happening in each moment allowed the day to unfold as an incredibly productive day.

What do you want? Who are you, now? Let’s get a fresh start there so we can then think about what needs to happen in every “now” so the future can be perfect for you.