Are you indulging in premeditated stress?

Sedruola Maruska | Personal Development Coach

You’re driving. A car on the right looks like it’s about to cut you off. . . .

You’re in line at an amusement park. A woman and her child look like they’re about to jump the line to join the rest of their family. . . .

You heard your friend say something rude about you. . . .

I’ll bet you started thinking about what you’d say or do in each of these situations didn’t you?

If you were wondering what “premeditated stress” is, that’s it. Anticipating a situation and deciding in your mind how and why you’ll respond in a certain way. Most of the time, it’s a negative response that creates stress in your body without the actual event happening.

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If you’re honest with yourself and us, you’ll say yes, you’ve indulged in premeditated stress. We all have because it’s a way of protecting ourselves from being taken advantage of, being hurt, abused, or manipulated.

Stress is a killer

But why create unnecessary stress? Stress is worst for your body than eating badly. Why? Because the hormone, Cortisol, it creates in your body was only meant to be in response to “fight or flight”. Once a threat was over, the levels would go back to a normal low ‘healthy’ level.

Stress is like being in a sustained ‘fight or flight’ situation that keeps the cortisol levels high. High cortisol levels are associated with lower immune function and bone density, increased weight gain, blood pressure, cholesterol, heart disease, depression and lower life expectancy.

That means, the conversation you have in your mind about being cut off is actually killing you slowly. Because every time you indulge in that premeditated stress conversation, you’re elevating your cortisol level and keeping your body in a state of readiness to ‘fight or flight’.

Premeditated Stress relief

There are hundreds of reasons to be and stay stressed in our society today. Between family, work, bills, aging, world events, and so much more, it’s no wonder there are increasing cases of mental illness, cancer, depression, heart disease and so on.

So, in an effort to help relieve some of the stress, here are a few ideas to help curb premeditated stress syndrome so we can let go and start enjoying our days more.

Breathe deeply – Whenever you feel something begin to creep up on you and take your joy. Stop, breathe ten deep breaths then move on. I know it sounds ancient, but it really does work to just breathe deeply. It allows your body to know that you’re not in a state of stress and relax. Helping you think clearer.

Exercise – Yeah, I’m like you, this is not my favorite thing either. But, moving your body helps you expend the energy needed to relieve stress. Don’t think of it as trying to lose weight or as a mandatory thing. Think of it as a release from the stress of life. Exercise as often as you need without regard for the benefits beyond just relieving stress. You may find you like it. . .

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Change perspective – When you’re looking at a situation, instead of only seeing your perspective, try to see things from the other side. Doing that will slow down your reaction, help you think of other possibilities for a given situation and calm your stress. This isn’t going to work for every situation (if not try the first to suggestions) but, you’d be surprised how quickly you can calm yourself if you shift your perspective.

Conclusion

Those are suggestions to help you in the immediate, but there are a ton of other things you can do to prevent premeditated stress getting the best of you.

You may be the best at your diet and exercise routine, but if you’re always in a state of stress, you’re doing more damage to your whole system than you realize. So, don’t indulge, release. Your body will thank you.


You cannot succeed if you cannot fail

Sedruola Maruska | Personal Development Coach

“What would you do if you knew you could not fail?”

It’s an old question asked a lot because of where it allows our minds to go. So, I asked it in my Facebook group this week and it stirred conversation.

Fear of failure keeps us from doing what we want to do because we’re afraid of things like:

  • what will “they” think?
  • how will I survive?
  • it’s too risky
  • it’s too controversial
  • I need to go back to school
  • I need the right, better, more tools/equipment
  • I’m not sure I’m the right person
  • what if I look ridiculous
  • I don’t have enough time
  • they’re not ready

And on, and on, and on. . . .

Let’s remove the stress from your success

We’re afraid of failure, but failure is the learning curve. It’s what gives us the opportunity to build experience so we know when we’ve succeeded. There’s not one person we look at as “successful” that hasn’t failed many times in order to reach that success.

A new question

So, as I considered the question I thought up a new one:

“What would you do if you knew you’d fail often, but in the end succeed?”

What if, instead of allowing the fear of failure drive us, we opened ourselves up to fail so we could succeed beyond our imagination? What if we decided:

  • who cares what they think
  • I’ll be fine
  • the risk is worth the reward
  • controversy breeds innovation
  • I know everything I need to know
  • I’ll start right now with what I have
  • I’m the exact right person for this
  • who cares how I look
  • I’ll find the time or make time
  • they better get ready

You are a badass

Fear of success

What if in the end the questions aren’t truly about the fear of all things listed, but about the success itself?

Could it be that we’re okay with the failure, but it’s the thought of actually getting to our big success that scares us? Why? Because success brings change and change is scary. It’s unknown, it’s the “X” factor.

Seems like all our excuses and fears are only to keep from walking into the black hole of “how will this all turn out?” Well, it will turn out like it will turn out. If we always had the information beforehand, what fun would life be?

You cannot succeed if you cannot fail | Sedruola Maruska

It’s the unknown that makes the journey fun! You get up everyday not knowing exactly what’s going to happen that day. You may have things planned, but there’s always “something”. That doesn’t keep you from getting out of bed and still tackling your day does it?


“What would you do if you knew you’d fail often, but in the end succeed?”

Let’s embrace the “X” factor, move forward with a spirit of power and fail often on our way to success!


O.P.E.’s are killing your dreams

Sedruola Maruska | Leisure Life Coach

Remember when you were little and everything seemed possible? You knew you’d be the first to find a real life unicorn. Or that you’d be a ballerina, mountain biker or someone who plays all day with dolphins. What happened?

When did you stop believing that everything was possible? When did everything become impossible?

I think it’s when you caught a case of O.P.E.’s.

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The good news

O.P.E.’s are totally ignorable. There’s no reason to give them any thought because that’s what got you here in the first place. Once you stop worrying about this condition and just see it for what it is, you can move forward with what you once saw as impossible because of O.P.E.’s.

The bad news

If you don’t ignore O.P.E.’s they’ll take over your very soul. They’ll cause you to doubt your intuition, creativity and talents. Focusing on them will alter your life in ways you’d most likely not want to acknowledge publicly.

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What are O.P.E.’s?

They are the energies that will:

  • Compel a child to say they want to be a doctor, when they really want to be a unicorn
  • Cause a teenager to study pre-law in college when they want to study anthropology
  • Drive an adult to take a job because it pays more, when what they want is a more altruistic position that pays a lot less
  • Create a version of a person you don’t recognize in your own mirror
  • Kill creativity
  • Stifle authenticity
  • Strangle passion
  • Dull your senses

O.P.E.’s are to be noticed then ignored if you want to live a deeply personal and fulfilled life.

O.P.E.'s are killing your dreams | Sedruola Maruska

O.P.E.’s are “Other People’s Expectations” and they’re toxic. Allowing yourself to let them take hold is a death sentence to your vision for your life.

Let’s chat for 20 minutes about your lifestyle & business goals

How to counter O.P.E.’s

It’s not easy to ignore other people’s expectations of you, but it can become easier to wade through them. Not everyone’s expectations are important. So, here’s a list of ways to overcome this condition so you can move toward your dreams.

  1. Figure out what’s truly important to YOU
  2. Share yourself only with those who will encourage your efforts, dreams & hopes
  3. Decide how you want to move toward your vision and start on your way
  4. When faced with opposing O.P.E.’s, go back to #1

You get to live your life the way you want. Other people’s expectations come from their life experiences, their limitation and their fears. Their expectations have nothing to do with you.

Go live your dreams!