Change your life: How to stop reacting and take action

Change Your Life | Sedruola Maruska

It’s spring 2016. I’m getting ready to go to my son’s soccer game. I pull on a pair of ‘mommy’ sweats and a sweatshirt and start to leave the room when I catch a reflection. Mine, I think. “Is that me? NO WAY!” I run back into my closet, put on some jeans and a fun t-shirt and go. That was the beginning of the end. . . .

The end of me, walking through life without intention and without purpose, but just existing. That’s when the feeling of wanting to take back my life began. What about you? Has your “Awakening” happened yet?

With life as uncertain as it is right now, deciding to take charge of your life is daunting. But if you’re feeling like now is the time, listen to that inner calling. Maybe you’re not sure where to start, but you have this nagging feeling that you’ve been going with the flow for too long. That’s what I felt that morning before soccer. I thought “who is that? What’s she doing?”

Are you failing at life?

The good news, there’s no right way to start. The key, do something. Taking action, any action, will motivate you to take more action and before you know it you’ve completely transformed your life!

Today I want to give you a few steps you can take to change your life. You may not feel the need to change the way I did. Mine was a real slap in the face wake up call. But that nagging you feel, deserves exploration.

As you continue reading, keep an open mind and heart and know, I share this in love and with a deep desire to see you become your very best.

Change Your Life: How to stop reacting and take action | Sedruola Maruska

Set Goals

I can’t express to you how important it is to have clear actionable goals. Goals give you a map or blueprint for where you want to go and what you want to do. Making any type of change means setting goals.

Step 1 – Look at your current situation and decide where you want to go. If you’re feeling frustrated with your life find out why by asking yourself:

  • What makes me sad right now when I look at my life?
  • What scares me about changing my life?
  • What passions did I have growing up?
  • What do I feel I’m missing in my life?
  • What do I really want?
  • What’s most important to me right now in my life?

When you go through this list of questions be honest. Be brutally honest with yourself about the answers. Write the answers in a Journal where you can refer to them over and over again.

Writing your answers and reviewing them will motivate you to make a plan for your future. As you get clearer, build on your answers until you’ve created a foundation for your planning.

Then, write out some tentative goals. Start with a long-term goal, like where you see yourself in five years. Then work backwards. Decide on short-term goals for the next year that’ll help you move toward your five-year goal. Each day, week or month, write out small tasks to help you along the way. Always keeping your large goal in mind.

Make Changes

Once you have a tentative goal plan, it’ll be easier to take intentional action. You’ll be able to start making changes that’ll add up to a big transformation. Now’s the best time to change the way you do life. The best way to know what to change is to look at your list of goals for inspiration.

Swamped to Serene in 30 Days

Do something from your list every day. Why? Because it’ll help you get to your end goal faster and easier. Look for different ways to take action. Try new things and meet new people. Anything that moves you from your comfort zone and toward where you want to be is good.  

Let Things & People Go

The hardest part about making any significant change in your life is letting some things, and people go. What you’ll find is that some friends and loved ones won’t react well to the changes you’re making. They’ll have opinions about everything you do. They may even be discouraging.

Remember, people in your life will react because change is hard and scary for them too. Taking time to communicate what you’re doing and why will go a long way to helping those who are unsure, either support or continue to challenge your choice. Take note of what’s happening and act accordingly. If you’re not ready to let go of someone in your life entirely, set boundaries to protect your time and space.

Remember, every step counts no matter how small. What’s important is that you do something.

Nothing changes in your life until you do.

Your action steps to get started on changing your life are:

  • Answer questions about your life
  • Write out a 5-Year goal
  • Write out a 1-Year goal that relates to the 5-year goal
  • Write out smaller steps along the way
  • Stay aware of people, habits and things that don’t line up with your goals

30 Fun ideas for your downtime

30 Fun ideas for your downtime | Sedruola Maruska

One of the goals I have for 2020 is to do 20 things I’ve never done before, or that I haven’t done in a long time. That means pushing myself to be creative with downtime.

Do you know the main question I get asked when I tell people they need more downtime?

“What am I going to do?”

As strange as it seems, most of us (me included) are at a loss when it comes to ideas for playing!

We know that playing helps stimulate our creative brains so when we return to work, we’re clearer, more productive and more creative in our solutions. But we either don’t take enough downtime or, when we do, we’re lost.

Yesterday I took an afternoon nap

Taking time off for play is great self-care. Taking a coffee break or a reading break is great, but sometimes our systems needs more. That’s where play comes in!

Here’s a list of fun activities to consider for so you can fully enjoy your downtime making everything else seem easier to manage.

Downtime Activities

Bowling – Go alone, with one friend of make it an impromptu party! No matter how you do it, bowling is always fun.

Glass Blowing – Learn or watch. Glass blowing is an amazing art form that more of us need to experience in some way.

Skydiving – I did this last year! I thought my fear of heights was going to give me a heart attack as soon as I got on the plane. But it didn’t even kick in! It was an incredible experience that I want everyone to try just once.

Adult Indoor playground – Yes, they actually do exist! You may need to search a bit, but finding one and indulging in plain old running around. . . priceless!

Escape Room – If you’re still not familiar with an escape room, please find one and enjoy! If you’re into mysteries or puzzles, this is an ultimate escape for you.

Golfing – Take a day to golf or to learn how to golf. Either way you can’t beat being outside, walking and communing. Go with friends to make it more fun!

Sushi Making Class – Love Sushi? Me too! Thing is, sometimes going out for sushi isn’t an option, so why not take a class and learn to make your own?

30 Fun ideas for your downtime | Sedruola Maruska

Wine Making Class – Yes, you can learn to make your own wine! A quick Google search can help with this.

Roller / Ice Skating – Remember when you were a kid and you used to skate all the time? Well, dust off your skills and go again!

Skiing / Snowboarding – I rediscovered skiing after not being on a slope in 17 years! My fear of heights did kick in, but I kicked it in the face as I challenged myself to do the 2nd level slopes. . . what about you?

Museum Visiting – Art, science, history, whatever type of museum fits your desires, get out and enjoy. It’s not an active option (unless, of course, you count all the walking) but it’s one that will certainly stimulate your creativity and take you away from the norm.

How well do you know yourself?

Aquarium Visiting – Same as visiting a museum but the exhibits are alive.

Amusement Park – They’re not just for kids. They’re for anyone ready and willing to have an adventure!

Make Your Own Beer – If you’re a beer drinker then making your own beer will certainly get your spirit flowing!

Whale Watching – It’s not an active option, but it’s one that will shift your perspective by shifting your surroundings.

Fishing – There are various types of fishing, pick on and go for it! Relax your mind, body and soul.

Paintball – My son and husband went to do this and they loved it! Dress accordingly and enjoy a fun time of getting to your goal.

Stock / Luxury Car Racing/Driving– I need to do this! If you love to drive and you’d like to experience speed or luxury, this is definitely for you.

Go Karting – Indoor or outdoor, this is the younger sibling to stock car racing. Want to rev up your downtime, get in a go kart!

Horseback Riding – Riding in the great outdoors, priceless. Don’t wait to go on vacation to do this. It’s a weekend day trip that will shift your perspective.

Crochet / Knitting Class – I crochet and I have taught crochet. I’m also a knitter. I know how relaxing these activities are for anyone. Trust me, it can be addictive!

Paint & Wine – Going out and having wine while paining is on my list. . . with friends!

Craft a Brew Home Pinot Grigio Making Kit – Easy Beginners with Ingredients and Supplies – Ultimate Wine Brewing

Ceramics – Throw, paint and enjoy. This is an activity that can be for the whole family.

Salsa / Ballroom / Hip Hop Dance Classes – Taking a dance class, or learning via YouTube (like my daughter & I are doing) is fun, great exercise and great for when you want to go dancing!

Whitewater Rafting – This summer, this is on our list! I’m thinking it’s an adventure we’ve got to try!

Rock Wall Climbing – Before you go into the great outdoors to do some climbing, get on an indoor rock wall and try your chops.

Theater – There’s nothing like seeing a great play to take you out of your personal reality and push you to a new world.

Photography Class / Workshop – Taking a photography class will help you take better photos all around. Learning small tips and tricks will certainly encourage you to practice what you’ve learned whenever the opportunity comes along.

Adult Sports League (soccer, baseball, football, martial arts, etc) – Join a sports league in your community!

Archery – It’s not as easy as it looks. Take a class and find out how you can get really good at it!

Gun Range – Learning to use a gun is empowering and fun. Using a gun is not as easy as it looks in the movies so go learn.

Stained Glass Making – An artsy activity that gives beautiful, unique results.

The list could go on, but instead I’m going to challenge you to pick 5 things from this list and put them on your calendar to do this year. You’ll be surprised at how much clearer you’ll feel, how productive you’ll be, and how creative you’ll feel. You’ll even start discovering more things you can do!

Take time off, it’s the best way to reach your goals faster.

Who decides beauty?

Sedruola Maruskaj Blog

I was having a conversation with my sister that turned to beauty. We were talking about marriage and anniversaries and how long some of our cousins have been married. We’re a huge supportive clan so we’ve all been to almost all our family weddings.

Anyway, my sister lamented that she looked “so bad” at our aunt’s wedding, but she just knew she was beautiful back then. “Why didn’t anyone ever tell me about my mustache or unibrow? How did I feel so beautiful?”

I didn’t think long before saying “we told each other we were beautiful so that’s what we all took into the world. We didn’t see your mustache or unibrow as ‘ugly’ we saw them as you.”

Who decides?

The more I’ve thought about that question the more I wonder, who decides what beauty is? Who decides that a woman with a mustache is less desirable than one without?

Did we lie or mislead her?

Mommy, Can I Change My Color?

Who decides whether we did or didn’t? I’m not sure. What I’m sure of is we were sincere in our praise of each other. We loved each other unconditionally and saw our beauty beyond the norms.

I was 95 lbs. until I was 34. That made me self-conscious because I didn’t feel I was beautiful at that size. I didn’t wear bikinis or show my arms. No one told me I wasn’t beautiful, but those I was around had curves I wanted.

My family always told me I was beautiful so I never truly doubted it, but there were counter messages that got through anyway.

At some point, someone in advertising decided what the “ideal” look would be. They took parts of ethnic women and created an ideal that has been etched into our minds. If we don’t feel we fit into that ideal, we think something needs to be changed. But does it really?

No changes necessary

No.

Beauty isn’t a product of what you look like on the outside, it’s a compilation of inner and outer beauty. I’ve seen men and women turned off by beautiful people because their beauty was skin deep. Then I’ve seen those men and women turned on by someone who would never fit the “ideal” because they glowed.

Scars To Your Beautiful

The next time you’re looking at yourself and thinking “I need to change. . . ” stop that thought. Think about your spirit. Think about your aura and consider if that’s what needs changing rather than your outer appearance.

Take it from a woman who walks around with and without breasts . . . no one cares how you look, they only care about who you are. Your person is what they respond to.

“Those who care, don’t matter and those who matter, don’t care.”

You are enough. You are beautiful. You decide, remember that!