Leisure Life Coach – What’s that?

Leisure Life Coach - What's That? | Sedruola Maruska

What’s a “Leisure Life Coach”?

I get this question all the time, so, let me explain.

I decided to be a coach so I needed a niche. At first being a business coach sounded good, but it didn’t give me room to talk about non-business stuff.

I thought I wanted to be a health & wellness coach, but that seemed so broad. Then, I started reading “Overwhelmed” by Brigid Schulte and a light bulb went on in my head. I could take my business acumen and my desire to teach health & wellness and narrow it down to leisure.

Leisure, the misunderstood sister to productivity and success. Leisure is what allows productivity to increase and success to follow. Without enough leisure, productivity is lagging and success is slow.

Leisure Life Coach - What's That? | Sedruola Maruska

So, what’s a “Leisure Life Coach”? It’s my niche. It’s where I help women find time & space in their lives so they feel less busy, less frustrated, more productive, relaxed and happy.

Now, the typical answer is “I don’t have time for that!” Which is EXACTLY why you need me! Taking time for yourself is the best gift you can give to those you love. . . even to those who come into contact with you each day.

Now’s a good time to follow me on Instagram

Don’t believe me. . . examine how you feel right after a vacation vs. when you can’t take one at all. . . I rest my case.

So, my mission, that I’ve chosen to embrace fully, is to help women simplify so they can find the joy in their lives through leisure.

It’s not about shirking responsibilities, but paring them down to what really matters and getting comfortable doing nothing to recharge your batteries.

I’m excited to help you find the time to do this. . . and so much more in your life!

What is a “Leisure Life Coach”? Me! The most fun coach you never knew you needed!

This is a productive, guilt-free zone!

Where is True Love’s Kiss?

Where Is True Love's Kiss? | Sedruola Maruska

I, like you, am of the Disney generations.

Starting with “Snow White”, Disney started defining “true love” and “true love’s kiss” for us.

Disney wove certain ideas into our fabric that have shaped our perceptions of love and what it means.

Today is Valentine’s Day (a made up holiday, but nonetheless) so lots of people are focused on Love. So it’s the perfect time to talk about love and where to find true love’s kiss.

Where Is True Love's Kiss? | Sedruola Maruska

A Story

When I was nine and ten we lived in Salt Lake City, Utah. Why, you may ask? Because my dad received a scholarship from the University Of Utah. So we packed up our stuff in New York City, and moved to a foreign land.

My brother and I never had a hard time making friends, but I think certain experiences we had in Salt Lake City shaped certain ideas for us. Living in Salt Lake City was the first time I knew I was different.

One day I was out with a group of friends playing, when someone suggested we play “run, catch & kiss”. If you’ve never played, let me explain. Run, catch and kiss is like tag except you have to kiss the person you catch then they have to kiss the next person to make them it. . . .

Mommy Can I change my color

At nine it seemed like a good idea since we were somewhere between “yeah, I want to be kissed” and “YUCK”! Anyway, we started this game and something interesting happened.

I say interesting now, with the luxury of distance, but it was hurtful.

As we’re running around playing this game I noticed something that soon descended like a fog on each of my friends . . . no one was running, catching or kissing Sedie, me. So, one of my friends went over and had a “chat” with the boys letting them know someone had to kiss me.

In 1977 & 1978 Salt Lake City I was the only person of color in the group. As a matter of fact, my brother and I were the only black kids in our entire elementary school for a whole year. There were about 300-400 students in the school.

But, I digress. The game resumed with the “new rules” and a very brave soul stepped up, chased me, reluctantly kissed me on my cheek (others were getting kissed on the lips), and that was the end of the game.

Disney. . . Will true love’s kiss ever come for me?

Friends

The year we moved to Salt Lake City was the first, and probably only, time we received neighbor gifts.

A lovely lady that lived downstairs brought us a cake of welcome. At the time she had four children and the eldest two were mine and my brother’s age. They became our best friends.

We were such good friends that someone asked if the boy was my boyfriend. . . not knowing much about what that meant, I asked him, he said yes and that was the extent of our romantic relationship. We were friends, we loved each other, and that was that.

After those two years we moved back to New York and left our friends behind. We lost touch because time and distance but I never forgot them.

Years later, when the internet was a baby, I realized I could probably find my long lost “boyfriend”. So I began a search and sure enough, I found him. We chatted for a long time and through that conversation I found out he was living happily with his partner, a lovely man he’d met at a party.

Disney. . . where’s true love’s kiss for that?

Please join me on Instagram!!

The Messages

By now I was 29 and I knew there was true love’s kiss for me out there, but that was in spite of messaging.

What are the messages we get?

  • Girls need protection and saving
  • Boys need to save and protect girls
  • Girls can only be loved and saved by a boy
  • Boys can only save and protect girls
  • Boys don’t need protection
  • Only boys can give a “True Love’s Kiss”
  • Only white girls are worthy of being kissed

Definitions

What is love? Merriam-Webster defines love as: 1) Strong affection for another arising from kinship or personal ties; 2) Attraction based on sexual desire; 3) Affection based on admiration or common interest.

What is true? Again, Merriam-Webster defines true: 1) Being in accordance with actual state of affairs; 2) Confirmable to an essential reality; 3) Fully realized or fulfilled

With those definitions it’s probably safe to say that “True Love” is a fully realized strong affection for another. That means anyone can truly love anyone. . . whoa!

New Messaging

It’s exciting to see that new messaging is emerging. It’s been extremely slow, but as we continue to speak our truths and express ourselves, the messaging must change.

As for Disney:

In 2009, my little girl got the message that she’s capable of being a princess, strong, independent and kissable with “The Princess and The Frog“.

In 2013, little girls got the message that they could be strong, independent and powerful. They also got the message that true love doesn’t require a kiss in “Frozen”.

In 2014, little girls learned that true love will always save you and it comes from those who know and accept you at your best and worst in “Maleficent“.

And in 2016 “Moana” taught our daughters that the quest isn’t to find “one true love” but to fiercely fight for all those you love. . . truly.

As we focus on love today let’s remember this: romance isn’t love, it’s a product of a romantic relationship.

Love is love.

Where’s True Love’s Kiss?

So, as we spread our kisses, let’s make sure they’re true loves kiss of knowing & understanding.

Let’s remember we’re all kissable and worthy of true love.

Let’s remember, and teach our children, that true love’s kiss heals because it comes from a deeper place than has traditionally been portrayed in the media.

Here’s hoping that the characters in movies become such that ALL children can see themselves reflected (representation is so important) and know they are lovable and kissable because true love’s kiss is not reserved from anyone.

Where’s true love’s kiss? It’s in those around you who are always there loving you. It’s not only romantic love but familiar love and familial love . . Happy Valentine’s Day!

Mind Our Busyness, Starting Today

Mind Our Busyness Starting Today | Sedruola Maruska

“Hey, how are you?”

“Ugh, I’m so busy, I need a vacation!”

I know that exchange sounds familiar because I’ve heard it drop from my lips many times! (for the record, I need a lifelong vacation, but that’s another post)

“I’m so busy!” The idea, the uttering, the feeling is always there ready to be delivered at a moments notice. Why?

My morning read this month (I’m so excited to be reading again that I’ve got a morning book and an evening book. . . I digress) is Overwhelmed: How to Work, Love, and Play When No One Has the Time by Brigid Schulte.

Have you seen my review on “You Are A Badass” Yet?

I’m not done yet, but in the first few chapters of the book I’ve not only had “ah-ha” moments, I’m examining my life and realizing that my busyness is often for the benefit of others, not mine. Can you relate?

Thing is, being busy is the new “status” symbol. If you’re not crazy busy, you must not be that important, or worst, you must not be that successful. We’ve gotten to where we equate being busy with being successful. But most of the time our “busy” is simply movement not progress, and certainly not success.

Movement vs. Progress

In our new technology driven world, that was supposed to give us more free time, we’re overwhelmed with busy. We carry multiple phones and can’t stop looking at our screens because, FOMO (fear of missing out).

Mind Our Busyness Starting Today | Sedruola Maruska

We run ourselves crazy never stopping for a moment to think about whether our busy is just movement or if it’s progress.

As women we have tons of stuff in our lives that keep us moving. That’s not so say men don’t, but I’m not talking to men 😉 I’m talking to you, lady boss! We drive our kids around to activities and events. We cook, we clean, we respond to invitations and buy gifts. Then let’s not forget trips to the vet for the pet(s), the grocery shopping that needs to happen, and oh, wait, there’s also the vacation we need to plan and the bills we need to pay. Oh, but we also need to answer emails, create our next promotion, create a strategy for our marketing, gather information for taxes, and make sure we workout, eat healthy and spend time with the people we love. . . .

Just reading that makes me tired.

Now consider how many things we do that can go away without being missed. Or, how much time we could take to just do things we want to do if we sidelined our need for “busyness”.

Moving is not progress. Merriam Webster’s definitions are:

  • Movement: change of place or position or posture
  • Progress: a forward or onward movement

So, just because you’re moving or “busy” doesn’t mean you’re moving forward. You may be, but there’s no guarantee!

Mind Your Busyness

If you can’t see or feel where or how you’re spending your time, you can’t change it. So, let’s slow down so we can mind our busyness and progress. Let’s “see” what’s happening.

Below are two (actually one and a sub action) action steps we’re going to take for the next week (yes, I’ll be joining you). We’re going to find the “Busy” so we can reduce it.

Action Step(s)

  • Keep a time journal of your daily activities
  • Color code your time: Red = work, Blue = busy, Yellow = downtime

This only works if we’re brutally honest with ourselves, so let’s be honest as we go through our days. Right now we just want to be aware of our busy. Soon we’ll talk about ways to reduce the noise, clutter and busy so we can get to progress.