O.P.E.’s are killing your dreams

Sedruola Maruska | Leisure Life Coach

Remember when you were little and everything seemed possible? You knew you’d be the first to find a real life unicorn. Or that you’d be a ballerina, mountain biker or someone who plays all day with dolphins. What happened?

When did you stop believing that everything was possible? When did everything become impossible?

I think it’s when you caught a case of O.P.E.’s.

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The good news

O.P.E.’s are totally ignorable. There’s no reason to give them any thought because that’s what got you here in the first place. Once you stop worrying about this condition and just see it for what it is, you can move forward with what you once saw as impossible because of O.P.E.’s.

The bad news

If you don’t ignore O.P.E.’s they’ll take over your very soul. They’ll cause you to doubt your intuition, creativity and talents. Focusing on them will alter your life in ways you’d most likely not want to acknowledge publicly.

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What are O.P.E.’s?

They are the energies that will:

  • Compel a child to say they want to be a doctor, when they really want to be a unicorn
  • Cause a teenager to study pre-law in college when they want to study anthropology
  • Drive an adult to take a job because it pays more, when what they want is a more altruistic position that pays a lot less
  • Create a version of a person you don’t recognize in your own mirror
  • Kill creativity
  • Stifle authenticity
  • Strangle passion
  • Dull your senses

O.P.E.’s are to be noticed then ignored if you want to live a deeply personal and fulfilled life.

O.P.E.'s are killing your dreams | Sedruola Maruska

O.P.E.’s are “Other People’s Expectations” and they’re toxic. Allowing yourself to let them take hold is a death sentence to your vision for your life.

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How to counter O.P.E.’s

It’s not easy to ignore other people’s expectations of you, but it can become easier to wade through them. Not everyone’s expectations are important. So, here’s a list of ways to overcome this condition so you can move toward your dreams.

  1. Figure out what’s truly important to YOU
  2. Share yourself only with those who will encourage your efforts, dreams & hopes
  3. Decide how you want to move toward your vision and start on your way
  4. When faced with opposing O.P.E.’s, go back to #1

You get to live your life the way you want. Other people’s expectations come from their life experiences, their limitation and their fears. Their expectations have nothing to do with you.

Go live your dreams!


5 Ways to indulge your affluence

Sedruola Maruskaj Blog

Affluence, my dear, is not a bad word as we’ve been led to believe. As a matter of fact, it’s been so mis-represented that there’s now a condition called “affluenza”. Imagine that!

There’s even a full dictionary definition of “affluenza”:
‘…psychological malaise supposedly affecting wealthy young people, symptoms of which include a lack of motivation, feelings of guilt, and a sense of isolation’

The misunderstanding runs deep. But it doesn’t have to.

Affluence comes from the Latin verb affluere, “to flow abundantly”. Thus, someone or something blessed with affluence has received an incoming flood of riches.

Merriam-Webster.com

From what I can tell, the idea of affluence or being affluent makes some people, many people, uncomfortable.

Here’s my theory. There are tons of reasons we shy away from saying “I want to be rich”. We think it sounds bad because, how dare we want to be rich, right? Wrong! Being rich isn’t the problem, how you think of being rich, is.

5 ways to indulge affluence

The problem is when we think of riches as only having lots of money (not that that’s a real problem, just perceived). It makes us uncomfortable so we shy away from wanting that type of affluence and therefore don’t understand the full meaning of the word.

I’d like to invite you to indulge your affluence for just a moment. I’m not taking money off the table because we all want more, whether we’re willing to admit it or not. But there are other ways, along with money, to have, be and create affluence.

Health affluence

If you enjoy great health, please indulge in that! Don’t take it for granted. People are fighting everyday to be healthy, get healthy or just stay alive. Then here you come with all your health affluence as if nothing can get you sick. Who do you think you are? You’re healthy, that’s who and you can indulge and enjoy that, so please do.

Family affluence

Do you have family that you can count on? Blood relatives that you can’t wait to see and love to spend time with? Family that you know will be there for you no matter what? Great! Indulge in it. Some people don’t have that special bond with their families. Some people would do anything to enjoy the family connections you do. Count your blessings.

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Friend affluence

Now, not only do you have a great family, but you’ve got friends to die for. Literally! You have people who’d do anything for you, and for whom you’d do anything. They are family you’ve chosen and they’re amazing. If you don’t believe they’re to be indulged in, you’re missing the point of “…an incoming flood of riches.” For who has even one friend to count on is rich….

Monetary affluence

I know, you don’t want to talk about money. But, if you can’t talk about money how can you ever expect to enjoy the money you have. . . or, aspire to have more? Look, having money, or wanting more doesn’t make you a bad person. What makes you a bad person is, well, being a bad person. If you’ve got enough money to pay your bills, enjoy extras beyond paying your bills and even enough to give charitably, you’re affluent. . . .

Spiritual affluence

Didn’t think this was a thing did you? Well, it is. You’ve found it within yourself to be grounded, happy and calm in the face of difficult situations, you’re spiritually affluent. Having found a way to enjoy life with all it’s ups, downs and tribulations is not something we can all do. Enjoy your spiritual journey.

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The next time you start feeling resentful of someone because of their perceived affluence, take a look at your life. Someone may be looking at you and feeling that same resentment because of what you enjoy and take for granted.


Are you failing at life?

Sedruola Maruska | Leisure Life Coach

Remember when your teacher would pull you aside and say “you’re failing this class, you need to do better.” (okay, maybe that was me not you, but go with me here).

Wasn’t it the most sinking feeling? It always felt like judgement upon your head or even worst, you were a failure.

Now you’re an adult with adult responsibilities. You’re even responsible for a few little people and you constantly hear that voice “You’re failing. . . “

But are you really, though? I mean, you’re still here right? You’ve got a job, a family? You pay your bills, taxes and even manage to take a vacation every now and then, right?

Then why do you keep hearing that voice?

If you were failing you’d be . . . well, not alive anymore I think. Who’d want to hire a failure? Who’d want to join lives with a failure, let alone have kids? Who’d want to hang out with a failure. . . would you?

The illusion of failure

The fear of failure is what keeps you “controlled”. The fear that you might “do it wrong” so why try is what keeps you in want.

Here’s a secret. Failure is an illusion. You only see it if you choose to look at it.

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Let’s say someone is trying to create the worlds first widget. No one knows, so no one’s around to tell them how it’s going. So, they work on it and miss their mark over and over again. Finally, on their two hundredth try their widget does exactly what they imagined it would. Success!!

Do you think they look at the one hundred and ninety nine other tries as failures? I’m thinking no. Why? Because no one was there to tell them they were failing. Because every time they tried, they learned something new. Because they didn’t look at failure as a viable option

Again: Because every time they tried they learned something new.

Failure is an illusion. It’s a story we tell ourselves because it’s a story that’s been told to us.

Try and learn

Instead of saying we tried and failed, what if we said we “tried and learned”? We’ve all heard about Thomas Edison‘s famous line “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” He did not see or look at failure, so he succeeded!

Why are we ready to allow the illusion of failure to derail our efforts? Maybe if we didn’t see anything as failing we’d be more successful in pursuing our dreams.

The next time you’re starting a new project or venture:

  • Do it on your own terms
  • Quiet your negative mind
  • Be bold
  • Remember you’re learning at every turn

Let’s go out and erase failure. Who needs it anyway?